Every household has rules. Julius is aware of this. Julius simply believes they’re more like suggestions.

Most of the time, he’s a pretty good bird. He hangs out with us, demands scratches, supervises everything happening in the house, and occasionally screams for reasons known only to God and Julius. But every once in a while, the man gets a little too big for his feathers.

Maybe he gets too worked up. Maybe he decides biting is an acceptable form of communication. Maybe he starts getting into something he knows perfectly well he shouldn’t be messing with. Whatever the offense, eventually Dad has to step in. And Julius gets sent to timeout.

This is, according to Julius, a gross violation of his constitutional rights. The second he realizes what’s happening, the attitude changes. Suddenly the bird who was acting like a tiny feathered terrorist five minutes ago is an innocent man who has never done anything wrong in his entire life.

Sir. We all witnessed the crime. There were witnesses. There was evidence. You were caught at the scene.

Timeout usually doesn’t last very long. Just enough time for Julius to calm down, rethink some of his recent life choices, and presumably begin planning his revenge. Eventually he gets released back into society.

Has he learned his lesson? Probably not. Does he immediately return to being the sweet, lovable Julius we know? Usually. Will we be doing this again? Almost certainly.

Such is life with a cockatoo. Parole granted. Until the next incident.